Negotiation Skills

Have you ever noticed how persistent and creative they are?

They ask for five more minutes to play, a little extra dessert, or an extra story before bed, and that do so without any hesitation. They negotiate without fear!
Pushing boundaries, listening, adapting, and building their case with absolute confidence…

It made me think, that as adults, we often lose that forthright courage.

We second-guess, overthink, and often hesitate to ask for what we truly want.

Yet, the basic principles that children follow, curiosity, persistence and adaptability, are exactly what we need in professional negotiations.

This hit home during my book signing at Chennai Airport. As I sat signing books, I watched a young child negotiate with her parent for a small toy at a nearby store. The way she reasoned, promising to behave or do her homework without a fuss, was absolutely a mini-masterclass in negotiation. What struck me was how naturally children negotiate, without overthinking or fear. She didn’t give up after the first “no” and was flexible enough to change her approach, convincing her parent in the end.

It reminded me how essential these simple yet powerful negotiation techniques are, no matter your age.

Whether you are negotiating with a client, a colleague, or even yourself, approaching it with the mindset of a child can change everything. So next time you are about to take on a negotiation, remember the basics
Ask without fear,
Adapt, and
Push the boundaries.

A few days ago, I had the privilege of doing the book reading of Negotiate or Stagnate, at the legendary Nilgiri Library in Ooty.

Imagine stepping into a place where the air is cool with highland breeze, being greeted by the scent of old parchment and polished wood. The walls lined with shelves that have stood the test of time, holding stories from centuries past. The light filters in through tall, narrow windows, casting a golden glow that wraps around you like an old friend. It’s a place where words carry weight.

It reminded me of a negotiation I had once, which started off rocky.

We were all in a cold, sterile boardroom, and tensions were high.
But then, by some stroke of luck, we moved to a quieter space, a small, forgotten room in the building, with worn leather chairs and a calming, timeless air.
Everything shifted!

In that room, we started to listen more, and talk less, and somehow, without force, we came to a resolution that worked for everyone.

Sitting in the Nilgiri Library brought that memory back, showing how the atmosphere can change not just the tone but the outcome of any negotiation. Sometimes, the environment teaches us more than any strategy ever could.

Have you ever felt a place guide your decisions?

Putting away a conversation with someone (manager, colleague, direct report or even a client) because it is difficult, can be severely damaging.

Research proves that having difficult conversations results in engaged employees, retaining talent, innovation and increased well-being.

Giving feedback is a typical example of a difficult conversation at the workplace.

I have noticed how this ‘tough job’ is poorly dealt with, at times never brought up and often relegated to HR.

Here are 7 steps to do it well:

1. Be timely – Don’t wait for too long, nip it in the bud!
2. Contextualize it – Spell out the situation in question where you noticed something amiss, and clarify why this is important and is being brought up.
3. Behavior – State the specific behaviour that caused an impediment
4. Impact – How has that impacted you, the team, and the business; be factual not threatening
5. Explore solutions – Ideally draw the solutions from them through skillful questioning.
6. Get commitment – Finalize a solution and seek commitment to an action.
7. Check-in – Keep a tab on how things are progressing

Facilitating a day’s workshop on ‘handling difficult conversations’ for one of the largest estate developers in UAE was fascinating.

The day was filled with interesting case studies, role-plays, assessment tools and skill-building activities.

Every participant felt engaged and witnessed an internal shift from

‘Can I really do it?’ to ‘Yes I Can’!